In other news, Morrissey can't write sex scenes

"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile) 10/01/2015 at 09:09 • Filed to: None

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NSFWish on embiggen, but not as much as you’d think. More WTF? really.

If you’re making Tom Clancy’s sex scenes look like Hemingway to your Bulwer-Lytton on acid, things have gone very, very wrong.

Hermann > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/01/2015 at 09:16

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The method used to write this paragraph is actually a writing exercise/game:

1) Pick dictionary

2) Cut many words out

3) Throw them in a bowl

4) Pick out 30 of them

5) Use them in a paragraph describing a sex scene.

That’s the only explanation.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Hermann 10/01/2015 at 09:20

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I would have credited Mad Libs, but there are just too many things strung together for it to have been anything close to good even before lunatic word substitutions.

Nibby > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/01/2015 at 09:23

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http://ps28.squat.net/bataille_story…

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Nibby 10/01/2015 at 09:26

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I knew this thread would attract you. Somehow.

Nibby > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/01/2015 at 09:27

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That’s probably the worst thing I’ve ever linked to.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Nibby 10/01/2015 at 09:36

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Oh, I know what it is. I have something really horrible I can link to, too, but it’s not “art”, it doesn’t make sense unless the person I’m linking to is familiar with pen and paper role-playing games. Summary: somebody wanted to make a D&D-like game which had rules for dick size and random body injuries and rape... and magic mishaps like summoning rapey ogres... and make people rape animals... and so on. Lots of rape. For no reason, it uses dozens and dozens of dice to do simple things, and has rules that make no sense. It’s the worst thing of its kind.

That’s the worst thing I’ve linked people to. Not the game itself, but a roasting of it.

Nibby > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/01/2015 at 09:39

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gross

CounterTorqueSteer > Nibby 10/01/2015 at 10:16

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WiscoProud > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/01/2015 at 11:54

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“Bulbous Salutation” May be my favorite erection euphemism of all time.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > WiscoProud 10/01/2015 at 11:59

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“Dear Sir or Madam: Greetings! I am Bulbous, a dick.”

RallyWrench > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/01/2015 at 13:17

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Talk about run-on, jeez.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > RallyWrench 10/01/2015 at 13:21

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Actually longer than the opening sentence of Paul Clifford . By like... 20 words. Amazing, really.

RallyWrench > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/01/2015 at 13:29

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Not only that, but there’s only one comma in the whole thing. You have to try to do that.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > RallyWrench 10/01/2015 at 13:33

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Were he someone who took himself even one microgram less seriously, I would have to consider the possibility of a joke. As is...